It's Your Anniversary

On the occasion of the 16th anniversary of the infamous car chase involving O.J. Simpson and his dutiful and faithful sidekick Al Cowlings, their contributions to the enrichment of the language courtesy the Urban Dictionary:

al cowlings Verb. To drive somebody around town; be someone's chauffeur. It's usually a close friend without a car who always bums rides off friends in order to run HIS errands or make HIS appointments. Al Cowlings was a former football teammate and best friend of O.J. Simpson. He drove the white Bronco for O.J. in the infamous police chase in 1994 while Simpson was a suspect for murder. First used in the 1997 film Good Will Hunting by Ben Affleck's character.

"I can't make it tonight. I gotta al cowlings John's ass all the way to Medford for some job interview."

O J Simpson 1. An star top-notch football athlete. 2. A man who was like "man, I'm black, don't be racist" and sticks guns to his head while racing down highways with the police in pursuit all for sporting entertainment.

"O J Simpson likes gloves that don't fit, because the jury must acquit football athlete black racist gloves."

2. O J Simpson
when you use the argument that the condom doesnt fit,so you can get a raw fuck,always leave the condom by the bed.

"Bob took a viagra and told sally the condom didnt fit,a classic o j simpson defence to where he didn't have to wear a condom."

O.J.'s Suit

The Smithsonian has wisely rejected the offer of the tan suit O.J. Simpson wore when acquitted in the 1995 murder trial of the century. Only Simpson and his equally delusional enablers could believe such a gesture deserving of an exhibit.

Juiced

There was something terribly pathetic in watching O.J. Simpson's plea for leniency during his sentencing for kidnapping and armed robbery. Through his rambling presentation, he couldn't quite shake the sense of entitlement that has been so much a part of his life since he demonstrated prowess on the football field, so much so that somehow the usual rules simply didn't apply to him. The Goldmans were understandably in a self-congratulatory mood for attributing Simpson's imminent incarceration to their unrelenting pursuit since Simpson was declared not guilty in the double murder of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman. Undoubtedly, the Goldmans' single-mindedness was a factor in O.J. going over their edge but given Simpson's attraction to the public limelight - like a moth to a flame - it was only a matter of time before this simpleton would do something stupid to get locked up.

The Big Payback

A Las Vegas jury found O. J. Simpson guilty of armed robbery and kidnapping exactly 13 years after being acquitted for the murders of his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman. True, the jurors prior to being selected swore they could render a verdict with no regard to the famous trial of the century in 1995 but it strains credulity to believe that it had no bearing on the outcome. Of course, the arrogant and incredibly stupid Simpson could never resist the allure of public regardless of the notoriety, so it was only a matter of time before he got himself in legal trouble for which he could not extricate himself. That he seriously thought he could engineer a heist to retrieve his "stuff" only underscores his imbecility.